3. Palm of our Hands

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello, mamas. [00:00:02] Speaker B: Welcome back. It's nice to see you. Yeah, it is nice that they can see us. [00:00:07] Speaker A: I know. It's our first ever one where we actually have video on it. [00:00:12] Speaker B: Yeah. It'll be so nice to be able to do this now. [00:00:15] Speaker A: I'm so excited. And I love our little setup here. It's not the best, but it's good enough. Okay. [00:00:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:20] Speaker A: Don't judge us. [00:00:21] Speaker B: You don't have to be perfect. Or it doesn't have to be perfect. [00:00:24] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:00:25] Speaker B: Yeah. That what we strive to be is not perfect. [00:00:29] Speaker A: Correct. I'm pretty sure that's part of our name. [00:00:34] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:00:36] Speaker A: So it'll work. It'll be fine. I just want to preface to anybody that's listening or watching. You may end up hearing kids or even seeing a dog. Yeah. I don't know. We have moved our recording studio upstairs in my house, and usually my family pieces out. Well, today they didn't. [00:00:58] Speaker B: They decided they wanted to stay here. [00:01:01] Speaker A: Tonight, and so, yeah, they're downstairs, and so if you hear them, this is literally my life. [00:01:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Story of all of our lives. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Literally. [00:01:14] Speaker B: And I apologize for my appearance. I was not informed we were recording or, like, videoing. We had talked about it, but not confirmed it, and I went and got my wax done. [00:01:26] Speaker A: I just did it myself. And clearly my appearance isn't great, so it's fine. [00:01:35] Speaker B: You can just look into the side. That's where the monitor is. [00:01:39] Speaker A: I have it. So I have the audio set up on my laptop. So when I look down at my laptop, I'm actually looking at the camera, but I have our video on a different monitor. So we keep looking over at. [00:01:55] Speaker B: It'll be fine. We'll get used to it, for sure. [00:01:58] Speaker A: It'll be all right. I probably need to have my mic back just a little further. And yours might need to be up just a little further, because I feel like I'm yelling. Is that better? [00:02:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Here we go. [00:02:10] Speaker A: There we go. I just talk very loud. There was something that I wanted to talk about before we even started, and then I forgot, so it's not on the list. It must not be. Oh, I know what it is. [00:02:23] Speaker B: Okay, shoot. [00:02:25] Speaker A: How was your week? [00:02:27] Speaker B: Well, it is only Tuesday, and we were. [00:02:30] Speaker A: We haven't talked since last Tuesday on the podcast. [00:02:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess that's right. It's been pretty good. I don't know. Just pretty relaxing. We haven't done anything because the weather's been so. Like, we were snowed in or iced in yesterday, even get out. Like, Steven drove in our driveway. To take the trash down and slid out of our driveway into the. Yeah, yeah, it was bad. [00:02:57] Speaker A: We didn't leave at all yesterday, we didn't leave at all today, which I was supposed to work today. And the kids did have school today, but they ran. Laptop. [00:03:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Black tops only. [00:03:09] Speaker A: I got a text message from both of our neighbors saying the road is way worse than it was yesterday. [00:03:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:16] Speaker A: So I'm like, great. I'm just not even going to risk it. I'm not going to take the kids to school. I'm not going to go to work. I'll just make up my hours this week. And it's not that big of a deal. [00:03:27] Speaker B: There was a lady that came into work and she lives down further than you guys. And she said that she was literally going ditch to ditch because she could not keep it on the road. She couldn't keep it on the road. And the only traction, little bit of traction she had was the ditches. [00:03:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And we can't get into the ditch because we don't have four wheel drive. We have two wheel drive. We're going to get fucking stopped. [00:03:50] Speaker B: It's crazy. I'm kind of surprised they didn't call it off. Like, we are a rural community and there's quite a few kids that live on gravel. And it's like, if you don't have a parent that has a four wheel drive vehicle, which not everybody does, and that's a normal thing to not have a four wheel drive vehicle, but they wouldn't be able to get out in this. So you're expecting parents to risk their lives and the children's lives to go to school and go to work. And I don't even think they should have had work today until at least eleven. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Right. And at that point, at 11:00 there was no point in me fucking going to work. [00:04:33] Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah. No point sending the kids because they'll be home in 3 hours. [00:04:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:38] Speaker B: Lunch, recess and then home. [00:04:39] Speaker A: Pretty much. Pretty fucking much. [00:04:43] Speaker B: I don't know. This weather has been a little crazy. I am ready for spring. But then again, I'm also not wanting to wish time away. [00:04:54] Speaker A: I am. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Well, I'm not wanting to wish any time. Like, I'm trying to savor the moment and live in the moment. And I feel like if I wish these winter months away because they are kind of crappy. But there's some fun things that happen. There's Morris's birthday, there's Hazel's birthday. We have things to look forward to during the cooler winter months. So I hate to wish them away because it's like we're wishing the kids birthdays away and we're not. But I'm like, I want this weather just to lighten up a little bit. [00:05:31] Speaker A: If it rained every day, I'd be fine with it. [00:05:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't care. Well, it's misting outside right now. [00:05:36] Speaker A: That's fine. Yeah. Because it's not supposed to drop below. [00:05:39] Speaker B: Freezing for a while. Like, two weeks is as far out as my weather app goes. And it's going to be warm until. So totally okay with that. [00:05:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm just over the weather. I can't handle it anymore. I'm ready for some sunshine and to be able to go the fuck outside, even if I have to go outside in the rain, don't care. [00:06:06] Speaker B: Well, I love the rain when it's warm out, right? Because I like to have mud parties. Like, the kids came over last summer and we had a mud party. Like, we ran through the mud puddles, we jumped in the little kitty pool that was full of water. We loved it. But it was warm, it wasn't cold. You couldn't go outside right now and get wet, right, because you would get sick. [00:06:35] Speaker A: Listen, it is an old wives tale. [00:06:38] Speaker B: I know that. [00:06:40] Speaker A: That when it's cold outside, you get sick. Not technically. When it's cold outside, it lowers your immune system, which that's why you. Makes you sick. That's what gets you sick. Not the weather gets you sick. [00:06:55] Speaker B: Whatever. [00:06:56] Speaker A: Your lowered immune system. Because you probably already fucking had something anyways. [00:07:04] Speaker B: Why am I. Stick to my old wives tales and my farmer's almanac and my moon phases. [00:07:12] Speaker A: All right, you hippie. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Yeah, it's worked for a lot of things, so I will stick with it. [00:07:21] Speaker A: My skin is so fucking dry, people are probably going to think I'm a crackhead for as much as I keep scratching myself during this video. My fucking skin is so goddamn dry. [00:07:32] Speaker B: That's hilarious. Okay, next thing, our topics. No. Yes. [00:07:40] Speaker A: We're getting into it. [00:07:40] Speaker B: I'm just here for the ride. I don't know what's going on. [00:07:43] Speaker A: No idea ever. Okay. I keep seeing this thing all over the place. It's TikTok, it's Facebook, and I've seen it for probably a year. And I don't remember if we talked about this before because I don't even remember what we talk about. Day of. [00:08:00] Speaker B: Yeah, me either. [00:08:01] Speaker A: That's why I love having my notes. [00:08:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:06] Speaker A: If it came down to say I was pregnant, I am not say I was. [00:08:17] Speaker B: You are pregnant. [00:08:18] Speaker A: No. Somebody is going to take that and. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Flip it and be like, Sidney said she was pregnant. [00:08:26] Speaker A: No, wrong. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Okay. Hypothetically. Hypothetically, if a person was pregnant, okay. [00:08:33] Speaker A: And they got into a situation where. [00:08:37] Speaker B: You had to choose your accident and were in the hospital. Yes. [00:08:41] Speaker A: Even. Or, like preeclampsia, stuff like that. [00:08:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:44] Speaker A: If it was between you and the baby, who would you want your partner to save? [00:08:50] Speaker B: I think I want to hear your answer first. [00:08:52] Speaker A: You want to hear my answer? [00:08:53] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Save me. Save me. I will be 1000% selfish in this. You better fucking save me. Okay? I have three kids already on this planet that need me. That need be. I feel like it would be more selfish of me to tell Daniel to save the baby. [00:09:20] Speaker B: So he is grieving. [00:09:22] Speaker A: He is grieving and taking care of four kids by himself. Absolutely not. You better fucking save me. [00:09:29] Speaker B: So, to me, it would depend what it was, and I would want to know the stats. So what percentage, if it's 50 50, do the whatever for procedure, whatever. [00:09:46] Speaker A: If it came down to it was you, or one of you is dying, like, you have to choose one right now. What would you tell Steven to do? [00:09:54] Speaker B: Save the baby. [00:09:56] Speaker A: Really? [00:09:56] Speaker B: Yes. And we've had this talk before. Yes. [00:10:01] Speaker A: Give me your thoughts on it. [00:10:06] Speaker B: I have lived my life to the fullest every day that I have lived, or tried to. [00:10:12] Speaker A: At least. [00:10:13] Speaker B: If it came down to it, I would want to give the baby a chance at life. Okay? Because I created it. We created it. It has not got a chance to live its life. I would want them to save the baby so that it got that chance to live, and I would be okay with that decision being made. And Stephen and I have talked about it, and like I said, like, it would depend on what the situation was like. If the baby was going to come out and have severe issues, health, physical, those types of things. Like, if it was going to come out and say they saved the baby and it was going to live its life struggling in and out of hospitals, that type of stuff, the decision would be different. [00:11:06] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:08] Speaker B: But if it was perfectly healthy, me and perfectly healthy baby, and you could only save one. Save the baby. [00:11:17] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:17] Speaker B: Now, I'm just going to pick your. [00:11:18] Speaker A: Brain a little bit, and I hope this doesn't come off anyway, and I don't make you feel bad or anything, because I'm going to. You usually do. I'm really not trying to. My question is, how do you think it would affect the baby in the sense that it doesn't have a mom? [00:11:44] Speaker B: There are so many people through history, back before medicine was a thing. There were so many mothers that died during childbirth, and the babies were considered a miracle. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Right? [00:11:58] Speaker B: Like, your mom gave her life for you. You are a miracle. Like, this is an amazing thing. And I would hope that's how people would treat it. Not that the baby killed me, but that I gave my life to save the baby, and that there's a lot. [00:12:16] Speaker A: Of pressure on a baby, on a person in general. [00:12:20] Speaker B: And it could be. But in the right atmosphere, the right raising, I think it would be something. They would be like, my mom wanted me here for a reason, okay? In the right family and the right raising, in the right situation, it'd be like, my mother gave her life for me to be here. So I'm going to try to do the like. I understand that's not always the situation, but in my head, that's what I would want it to be. And I would expect Steven to carry that on, be like your mom gave her life for you. So let's make the most out of the know. And that's how I try to treat my children, like you are a miracle. No matter. We had miscarriages before Piper, and Piper has always been our miracle baby. But then again, so is Morris, right? They are both angels. They are both sent from heaven. Like, they are both so special anyways, that I try to do that with them anyways, even though I'm not like, oh, well, you had a brother or sister, two brothers or two siblings that passed away before you. I don't say that. I don't rub that in. I don't be like, do you think. [00:13:55] Speaker A: That that has any sway in your decision for, say, me or the baby for this scenario? [00:14:03] Speaker B: Do you think hypothetical it may. But then again, I had a sister that died at a young age. I had a mother that died at a young age. My mom was 36, my sister was 17. And I don't know. I don't think so. But then again, I don't know. I would do anything to go see them, right? So that may sway me more than the miscarriages, right? That may sway me saying, if it's my time to go, it's my time to go save the baby. I guess I don't really. [00:14:46] Speaker A: I guess I never really thought about it that way. I was thinking at it more of, like, since you did lose your mom at such a young age, how traumatic that was for you, how traumatic it would like. I didn't know if. I don't know. [00:15:03] Speaker B: I didn't have a good childhood after my mom passed. And I know that Stephen would never do anything even close to that with our children. So they will have the best childhood, the best life that he can give them, like he already is, like we both already are. I don't know. It's so weird to even think about it because I have no clue. [00:15:29] Speaker A: Right? [00:15:30] Speaker B: That's not something I've ever thought about. [00:15:35] Speaker A: Chances are very slim that that's going to even happen now because you have your tubes tied. [00:15:40] Speaker B: It better not. [00:15:43] Speaker A: My sister in law. [00:15:45] Speaker B: I know. It's not mine. [00:15:53] Speaker A: It's not yours. Who are you trying to save? [00:15:59] Speaker B: So I have something a little sort of like this. [00:16:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:16:04] Speaker B: Sort of like the save me or the baby I see all over TikTok, and I've seen it for, like you said, a year. Would you kill for your child? [00:16:13] Speaker A: Literally. I know that you don't listen to the episodes. First episode. I talk about this, and I will 1000% give you my thoughts. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Hell, fucking yes. [00:16:25] Speaker A: For all the moms who are questioning if they would kill for their kids. [00:16:29] Speaker B: They don't need to have children. [00:16:30] Speaker A: They do not need. I will kill for my kids. I'll kill for your kids. I'll kill for anybody's kids. [00:16:38] Speaker B: Yes, one, any fucking kid. Yes. [00:16:41] Speaker A: No question. [00:16:42] Speaker B: They cannot defend themselves. They cannot stand up for themselves. Somebody comes and tries to hurt them, they are a sitting duck. [00:16:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:53] Speaker B: And it blows my mind. One of the videos, somebody was holding a baby. [00:16:58] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. And the people who were just, no, I would not. [00:17:06] Speaker B: They were fast. They were just like, no, I would not. [00:17:10] Speaker A: I have 1000%. [00:17:15] Speaker B: No. [00:17:16] Speaker A: I'm like, what were you thinking about? That's what I want to know now. Like I said in the first episode, if my child came to me and is 40 years old and said that so and so pissed them off or something, no, probably. I would not kill for my kids if it wasn't needed. [00:17:43] Speaker B: They would have to be very needed. If my teenage daughter came home and said boy she went out with forced her, assaulted her. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Absolutely no. [00:17:57] Speaker B: Forced her to try to do something, like forced her to potentially try to have sex or anything like that, I'm showing up at that motherfucker's door, and I will beat him. [00:18:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:11] Speaker B: And I will beat his parents if they stand in the way. I will not. And even my son, like Remington, he's pretty tough boy, and he may not end up in that type of situation for a few more years, but even for my boys, they came home and they're like, this girl would not let me say no. She was making me she was doing this or doing that. You better bet your hard earned dollar I'm going to show up at her door too. [00:18:46] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:18:47] Speaker B: Because that is not okay. No matter what the situation is. Everybody always says like, boys can't be assaulted or boys can't be bullied or whatever. Yes, they can. Anybody can. [00:19:02] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:19:03] Speaker B: And I will not stand for my children to be part of the percentage, ever. [00:19:11] Speaker A: I wouldn't just go out murdering people. [00:19:16] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:17] Speaker A: But if it came down to where it was my kid or that person or I was in the situation, I know everybody knows about the guy whose son got assaulted by the guy and he shot him in the airport. [00:19:34] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:35] Speaker A: When he pretends to be on the phone, 1000% would fucking be me. And I would smile in my goddamn mugshot. [00:19:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Hell yeah. If one of your daughters or one of my children ever was in a situation and they were taken advantage of by somebody that age where the age mattered. This is going to sound really bad when I say I understand the different age gaps. You can be 18 and 16, right? And that'd be okay. But if there is ever a man trying to put hands on a girl and there is more than like four years difference, because if he was 18, the girl would be 14. That's not okay in my book. [00:20:27] Speaker A: I'd beat the shit out of somebody. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Or if they are even older than that. If you're over 18, you bet I will bring a posse. My whole family will be there. Sadie will be the first motherfucker in line because her grandbaby got hurt. And I'll be the second one. Stephen may be the second one. He may not let. Like, that is not okay. And yes, if I got put into a situation, I would kill for my daughter or my sons. [00:21:01] Speaker A: I've done a lot for my kid being not even bullied, but. [00:21:07] Speaker B: Being picked on. [00:21:10] Speaker A: She wasn't even picked on. She was. I don't know how to say it. Kids in her class were talking about her boobs. And I had a very nice conversation with the principal and the mother of the two children who were doing it. [00:21:30] Speaker B: I do not blame you. Not one bit. [00:21:32] Speaker A: And that was the last year and nothing has happened since. The one mom, she was amazing. Easy to fucking deal with. The other one kind of blew it off a little bit. And I'm like, this is serious. This is the age where shit starts. [00:21:46] Speaker B: Getting real salt in middle school and. [00:21:48] Speaker A: High school and not even that. This is where she starts being self conscious about herself. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Right? [00:21:55] Speaker A: Hadley is a bigger girl. She has progressed more rapidly. [00:22:00] Speaker B: She has matured and grown into her. [00:22:02] Speaker A: Womanly body than a lot of kids in her class. That is just how it is. I'm not going to fucking deal with it. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Not at all. [00:22:12] Speaker A: So I could only imagine what would happen if things were to have escalated. [00:22:16] Speaker B: That is something that I'm honestly scared for. When Piper hits the age where that stuff starts happening in school. And I know this is going to sound terrible of me, but I hope she is built like me so we don't have near as many issues, right. You won't have people staring at her boobs because there's nothing there. [00:22:41] Speaker A: Nothing to look at. [00:22:42] Speaker B: I didn't get a butt until after high school. But then again, that sucks too, right? It scares me because of the way kids are. And they're always like that. They're always going to be like that. They're always going to comment on the way somebody looks. We as adults even do it. We comment on the way people look. And we may not mean it in a mean way, right? But it can come off rude to certain people. And you never know what somebody's going through behind closed doors, right? [00:23:19] Speaker A: And me and Daniel have had this conversation before. Kids, like, literally just a couple of days ago. Kids these days are maturing so much faster than we did. The shit is kind of scary. A little bit. [00:23:34] Speaker B: It is. [00:23:41] Speaker A: I don't know. I was never addict to my parents, right? For two reasons. One, because I saw how my sisters were addicted to my parents, and I was like, I don't want any part of that. And two, I was a goodie two shoes. That isn't still our fuck off. So I didn't do any of that. But Hadley, she's ten years old and fucking attitude. And that is a lot of moms. Lucy, please go. [00:24:16] Speaker B: She's like, okay, mom, I'll quit. [00:24:18] Speaker A: She's like, I'll stop for right now. [00:24:19] Speaker B: Stop scratching. [00:24:21] Speaker A: So I've talked to a lot of moms in Hadley's grade, and they're like, yeah, my daughter. Because I started to think like, maybe it's something we're doing at home. [00:24:31] Speaker B: It makes you think that you're a bad parent. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe it's something we're doing at home. Maybe it's the shit that's going on with her mom. I don't know. So I was talking to a bunch of other parents in the class, and they're like, no, bro. Like, attitudes on all these fucking kids, boys, girls, doesn't matter. The fucking attitudes on all of them is like, you have a 16 year old at home. [00:24:51] Speaker B: So I saw something a while ago, and it was talking about how children today are maturing at younger age because, and it had it pinpointed to some of the things that we expose ourselves and our children to. [00:25:08] Speaker A: We also have to think it not only the stuff that's in our food and the stuff that's in our drinks and stuff like that, social media wasn't around when we were exactly kids. [00:25:18] Speaker B: It's not just the things that we're putting into our bodies and around our bodies, because you can get chemicals from all kinds of stuff. Laundry detergents, candles, like air fresheners, lotions, stuff that you put on your body, things you put around your body, and also the things you put in your body. And we're adding all of that, the things we are putting into our body and around our body that are disrupting the way our bodies normally would function. So, like our hormones, they are changing the way the kids hormones are and causing them to go into early maturity, is that right? Early maturity, something like that. So they're causing them to mature earlier than what we even did. [00:26:05] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:06] Speaker B: And then on top of that, we're throwing in social media, Snapchat, Facebook, all. [00:26:12] Speaker A: The types of site, and not even that, YouTube. Just having our kids in front of a screen 24/7 because not only are they on screens at home, they're on a screen. They have chromebooks, they've got the. [00:26:24] Speaker B: Whatever, the boards. Yeah, the whiteboard deals. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Yeah. So they're constantly looking at screens. Twenty four seven. And I'm just as bad as anybody else. We got our kids fucking tablets for Christmas. That was an awful idea on our part. And I have nothing to excuse it, honestly. Especially in the summer. Like in the spring and summer, when my kids are able to go outside, they're not going to have them as often. No, because we are cooped up inside. [00:26:54] Speaker B: It is hard not to, because even if they're not watching it. So think about this. Even if you hadn't got your kids the tablets for Christmas, what would they be watching? [00:27:03] Speaker A: Right. [00:27:05] Speaker B: Tvs. They'd be stealing your phone, which makes it hard for you to do anything or look at anything. [00:27:13] Speaker A: Bad at looking on my phone. And I've got to do better. I've got to shut my phone off, stay the fuck off of it. And that is another reason why I'm irritable all the time, because I'm always on my fucking phone. [00:27:24] Speaker B: Well, and it's a stimulant. It's a brain stimulant. So it is causing your brain to function different than if you weren't on it. I know during the summer. And so spring, summer and fall, when I can be outside doing stuff, especially whenever I'm grounding, I walk around barefoot year round, almost. The wintertime is a little harder to do. [00:27:47] Speaker A: It's a little icy outside, a little tricky. [00:27:49] Speaker B: Yeah. But that is so good for your body to be able to do that. And you can't do that right now. [00:27:55] Speaker A: Right? [00:27:56] Speaker B: We are literally forced to stay inside twenty four seven. [00:28:01] Speaker A: And it's affecting everybody. [00:28:04] Speaker B: It really is. [00:28:05] Speaker A: That's why I'm so ready for spring. That's why I'm okay to wish all of this away, because hopefully it'll get better. And then I keep telling myself, like, I'm really trying to do better with the podcast stuff. And the only way that I can do better is be on my fucking laptop and do stuff and get all this shit together, posting everywhere, getting that stuff together. And then I have to realize that means actually doing it, not sitting, scrolling on TikTok. [00:28:31] Speaker B: Right. And I am really bad about that. And I try to cut back at it, but today at work, it was so slow. I had maybe one phone call and one person come in between eight and twelve today. [00:28:44] Speaker A: Damn. [00:28:45] Speaker B: I was, like, about to fall asleep at my desk, and I was scrolling through TikTok. And then I've go back to Facebook. And then I told myself, like, get off your fucking phone. And then I was looking at my computer, looking at recipes, looking at this, and then I was like, oh, that reminds me of something I saw on TikTok. So then I went back to my. [00:29:06] Speaker A: Phone, back to TikTok. [00:29:08] Speaker B: I'm like, what in the world? I hate it. [00:29:12] Speaker A: But it's the most useful and detrimental thing. Yeah, it really is. To have at the palm of your hands. [00:29:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:21] Speaker A: So we're going to try to get better at that in our house. We'll see how it goes. Probably not until springtime or closer to spring. Right? [00:29:32] Speaker B: Like, you may be able to go out every couple of days or whatever, right? [00:29:36] Speaker A: All right, mamas, we're going to take a quick break and we will be back. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Thank you for waiting. We are back. We're back live. [00:29:48] Speaker A: It didn't take us long, really. I did change my hair, in case you were wondering. If you're not watching this on video, I guess you don't even care. It's kind of rude. Okay, sorry. I was checking that and it, like, glitched for a second. [00:30:06] Speaker B: It's really tripping me out that it's over. There. [00:30:12] Speaker A: Okay. Onto the next thing. I don't even know what I want to talk about. [00:30:24] Speaker B: I don't know. I'm not feeling any of those I was earlier. [00:30:32] Speaker A: I guess we'll go with the fourth one. [00:30:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:37] Speaker A: So whenever we had babies, whenever we started having babies, did you do the self soothe where they were able to cry it out, or were you the nama hold you all the time? [00:30:56] Speaker B: I was a little both. So I came home from the hospital. She would been not even a week old, and my grandma and grandpa show up to see their first great grandbaby. And I had sat piper down in her swing, and she started fussing or whining, and I went over and picked her up, and my grandma goes, you're going to spoil her if you keep picking her up when she cries. And I was like, well, I actually have done research and figured out you can't spoil an infant. They cry on demand like they need a change. They're gassy, they need fed. They cry on demand. [00:31:50] Speaker A: They've been in you for nine months. [00:31:51] Speaker B: Yeah, for the first little bit, they cry on demand. And I was like, okay. I was like, I'll try to let her cry more. Never did. But there was points where she was just crying to cry. I could tell the difference. And as a mom, you can for the most part, if she cried, and I'm like, I think she's hungry, right? Or, let me go check on her, and she's dry, all that stuff, I would let her cry a little bit. The most we ever went was like 30 minutes, and that was when we were training her sleep. Training her to sleep in her bedroom in the bassinet, or not in the bassinet, but in the step up crib. So it was like the raised crib, and we never really did the it out. [00:32:53] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:32:54] Speaker B: I couldn't take it with either one of the kids. And then Morris came along, and he didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time until he was two years. Like, we never really had a chance to do the cry it out. We never got to the point where it was like, oh, the baby's only crying because you set them down. We never had. [00:33:15] Speaker A: Right? [00:33:16] Speaker B: So I don't know. I think every baby is different, every family is different, every parent is different, and I think whatever works. [00:33:26] Speaker A: Yeah. I couldn't one. My little mommy heart couldn't fucking handle it. I couldn't. And maybe that's why my kids are a little whiny today. Like, I make them cry. It out today. I'm like, absolutely. [00:33:41] Speaker B: You're definitely. [00:33:42] Speaker A: No, yeah, we do too. But as infants or even as smaller toddlers. No, I didn't one. I couldn't with Harper, even if I were to try. 3 seconds of her crying. She threw up every time. Every fucking time. She still does. [00:34:04] Speaker B: You know one always scared. Like with piper, she had a crib, a full size crib. And when she hit that age or whatever, we lowered it to the very bottom. She couldn't get out with Morris. He was a big boy, and he found a way to get out. So I literally left him in there for five minutes to cry. And I don't even think I was leaving him in there to cry it out. I was just like, I have to go do this real quick. Right there. And he crawled out of the bed. He wasn't but a year old, barely a year old, crawled out of the bed and fell. I felt so bad. I felt like I heard the thump. And then he has a different cry. He breathes in and cries for a second and then stops crying. So it makes you think something is seriously wrong. Right? And he did that. And I was like, never again. Never again. I didn't want to put him back in his crib, ever. It was terrible. [00:35:09] Speaker A: Hazel slept in hers till she was maybe either just under or just over a year old. She slept in hers and then learned how to crawl out of it. And that's when she started sleeping in bed with us. So now know, four of us sleeping in bed together. And Daniel gets so mad because he fucking can't stand it. Because sometimes Hazel will pee the bed, and it doesn't happen very often anymore. She's potty trained. She doesn't pee the bed very often anymore. But probably once a week to once every two weeks, she'll accidentally just not be able to wake herself up and pee the bed. Which is fine. I have no issue with it. However, she sleeps closer to Daniel than she sleeps to. She also. We call it a bottle. It's a sippy cup. But she's chewed the end off of. [00:36:02] Speaker B: It and it leaks. [00:36:03] Speaker A: And it leaks. [00:36:04] Speaker B: Crap. [00:36:05] Speaker A: And so she'll fall asleep. And I always try to grab it before I fall asleep, but sometimes I fall asleep before she does. And so then it leaves a wet spot in the bed, and Daniel just can't handle it. And now Hazel's been sleeping at the foot of the bed. I don't know why I'm not making her sleep there. That's just where she wants to sleep. And so Daniel gets all flustered because that's where she, like, I can contort my body to, however, sleep. Daniel cannot. He's big boy. He can't do that. So we have a lot of those nighttime struggles. [00:36:39] Speaker B: Piper has never been a baby that has wanted to sleep in our room or in our. Never. And Morris, he wasn't even when he was little and up every 2 hours. He didn't want to sleep with us. [00:36:54] Speaker A: Hazel never did. Hazel never wanted to sleep with us. And she wasn't my two hour feeding baby. Harper was. Harper slept with us since the day that she came home from the hospital to now she still sleeps with us. I breastfed her the longest. She slept in bed with us forever. And it was just easy for me to pop a boob out. Hazel, even when I was breastfeeding her, I would put her in bed with us, and then she would be done eating, and she would fuss because she didn't want to be next to me. She wanted to lay down in her own bed. And I was like, you're my last baby, why do you want to do this to me? And now she's up my ass. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Yeah, but now Morris wants to be in bed with us, and Piper just wants to be near us. So she'll come in ten times, we go put her to bed, go put Morris to bed. Morris comes, gets in bed with us, and then Piper comes in like ten times, like, hey, what are you guys doing? [00:37:43] Speaker A: Are you sleeping yet? [00:37:45] Speaker B: Hey, can I go to the bathroom? Hey, where are we going tomorrow? I'm like, go to sleep. And so last night, we moved their bed into our room and put on the floor at the foot of the bed. And Piper fell asleep at 830 last night, which I didn't go to work because they canceled work, canceled school. So we just all stayed home yesterday, and she didn't get a nap. [00:38:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:12] Speaker B: So she fell asleep at like 830. So I go in and I get her bed, get her blankets, her pillows, all her stuff. I lay her down in bed, and then by the time I get her situated, Morse falls asleep. So it's like 840. And I'm like, okay, well, he has to have a pull up on at nighttime, just in case. So I pull his undies off, go to put his pull up on, and he's fighting me. So then he wakes up. [00:38:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:42] Speaker B: Didn't go back to bed until eleven. [00:38:46] Speaker A: Hazel had a nap yesterday. Hazel had a nap yesterday. It was a late nap. It was a very late nap. And we don't do those very often, but I knew that she was staying at home with Daniel today because we didn't have daycare today. Like, I already knew that. So I was planning on. I would be at work, the kids would be at Daniel. You know, if she stayed up a little bit later, then she'd sleep a little bit later during the day. And Daniel wouldn't have her by himself for as long while he's trying to work. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Right. [00:39:16] Speaker A: Which is not that big of a deal. Just I wasn't bothered with her having a late nap yesterday. And tell that late nap, I think she fell asleep at like four. [00:39:25] Speaker B: Oh, gosh. [00:39:26] Speaker A: And I tried to wake her up at six, and she didn't want to wake up. And I was like, okay, that's fine. I tried again at seven. She didn't want to wake up. And I was like, maybe that means she's asleep for the night. Hell, no. 830 rolls around. She wakes up and she wakes up and she's ready to party. And I'm like, okay, I can stay up for a couple more hours. It's not that big of a deal. So we come upstairs, we lay in bed. All of us are in bed. We're all fucking off, whatever. And Harper ends up falling asleep. Daniel falls asleep. And I am on the verge of falling asleep. And I don't know what it is with my kids, but anytime they need something, they ask mom. [00:40:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Always. [00:40:02] Speaker A: Every fucking time. Even if it drives me. [00:40:06] Speaker B: You were standing there on fire and your dad had a bucket. Or their dad had a bucket of water about to dump on you. They'd be like, hey, mom, can you get me this? [00:40:15] Speaker A: Yeah. And not even that. You can go downstairs by yourself. You're fine. [00:40:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:22] Speaker A: Nothing's going to hurt you? No. They always need me to go with them. Always. So Hazel woke me up, which I was just barely asleep. And any of my kids, even though Hazel's only two and Harper's five. I feel comfortable falling asleep with them awake. It does not bother me one bit. I trust that they're not going to get into anything. Because they know better. And I am such a light sleeper. That even if they did try to get into something, I would wake up. So she woke me up because she wanted to go downstairs to go to the bathroom. So I took her downstairs to go to the bathroom. And at this point, it's 11:00 and I'm like, all right, Hazel Grace. As much as mommy doesn't like to do this. But as much as you like it, let's take a melatonin, dummy. Just one. Let's just take one. Okay. So I give her one. I'm like, all right. In 30 minutes, she'll be passed out. We'll be good to go. I lay down, I doze off. She wakes me up for milk in her bottle. I go downstairs, I put milk in her bottle. I happened to look at the time. You know what time it was? 01:00 a.m.. [00:41:33] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:41:35] Speaker A: So then I'm like, all right, awesome. Great joke about love my life. [00:41:40] Speaker B: Okay? [00:41:41] Speaker A: But she's been laying in bed watching tv. So I'm like, we're golden. It's fine. I lay back down, I close my eyes. She wakes me up again for another bop. [00:41:53] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. [00:41:54] Speaker A: And I'm like, girlfriend, are you not ready for bed? And at this point, I'm thinking, it's been like, 15 minutes. Okay, I just went downstairs. Yeah, it is 03:00 in the morning. [00:42:08] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:42:10] Speaker A: Okay. I give her a bottle. I'm like, sis, you need to go to sleep. It is time to go to sleep. Okay. I lay down. I fall asleep. I get up this morning, my alarm clock goes off at. Okay. So I'm up. I'm doing all my stuff, thinking that I'm taking the kids to school until I get a message from our neighbors that the road sucks. So I've got all my shit together. Like, I'm getting all my stuff. Harper's awake. Harper's been awake since, like, 545 because she woke me up. And she's like, hey, mom, can I have ice cream for breakfast? You're like, hell, no, that's not what I said. I said when I get up, is what I said. [00:42:55] Speaker B: Okay, whatever. [00:42:56] Speaker A: I didn't even care. I was like, I have been up 17 times tonight. Doesn't even matter. [00:43:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:01] Speaker A: So I get up, get all my stuff done. She, in fact, did not have ice cream for breakfast. She forgot about it when I made coffee because she wanted coffee. So, yes, I gave my five year old coffee. [00:43:13] Speaker B: I gave Piper Moore's coffee. But it's milk. [00:43:16] Speaker A: A bunch of milk and a little. [00:43:18] Speaker B: Bit of a splash of creamer and then a drop of coffee, just enough to color it. [00:43:23] Speaker A: That's hilarious. [00:43:24] Speaker B: That's all I give know. Morris is like, no more coffee. I'm like, okay, I'll darken it up a little. Hazel just never went to sleep. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Okay, so then Daniel gets up, and then I've talked about this so many times. If you are a new listener, bro, the anger that it brings me if somebody wakes up while I'm in the middle of my morning routine. I cannot fucking handle it. I don't know why. So he gets up, he goes to the bathroom, he leaves me alone because he fucking knows better, right? Okay. And then he comes into the living room. I walked into the bathroom because that's where he was and I was telling him about how the road sucks. So I just wasn't going to go to work or take the kids to school, whatever. And he's like, yeah, I got up at 430 or so, and Hazel was just laying in bed watching tv. And then he's like, as soon as I got up, she sat up and looked at me and I told her to lay back down. And then when I came back upstairs, she was still awake. And I was like, she never went to sleep, bro. [00:44:31] Speaker B: Never went to sleep. [00:44:34] Speaker A: She woke up this morning at 08:00 a.m. [00:44:37] Speaker B: I was like, okay, let's start. [00:44:39] Speaker A: Was ready. [00:44:41] Speaker B: Maybe she's going through a sleep aggression or like gross spurt that's causing her to not sleep. Right. [00:44:46] Speaker A: She slept from noon to 04:00 today. [00:44:49] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. I would have been like, no, you're waking up after 2 hours. We are not doing this again. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Absolutely not. This mom needed a nap. This mom also took a nap. [00:45:03] Speaker B: I don't ever get tired until close to the end of kids nap time. I will lay there and Morris likes to snuggle. Piper likes to be close to me, but not really snuggle. And so I'll lay there and Morris will be in my arm and he'll fall asleep, and then I'll be like, oh, I'm going to get my show. I'm going to watch. Or I get up and do something. I'm like, oh, he's asleep. He's not going to be up my butt all the time while I'm doing this. And then I'll go and be like, okay, I'm going to sit down for a few minutes and I'm like, oh, I'm tired. And I start closing my eyes. And then he's like, ma, yeah, I want a nap too, but it's never at the same time. And I've never been able to sleep when the baby sleeps. That's never been something I've been able to do because it was always like, okay, well, I have to get this done or I want to get this done while the baby is sleeping. And then it's like, the baby's awake. Yes. [00:46:01] Speaker A: That's why I'm such a morning person. Like, if I can get myself back into the morning routine, I have not been doing good about it, but if I can, I like doing my shit in the morning. That's my favorite time to get things done because I am a nap taker. It doesn't matter if I wake up at 09:00 a.m. By 01:00 I'm fucking tired. So I could wake up at five or I could wake up at ten, still tired at 01:00 right. [00:46:26] Speaker B: And that's just a routine. Like, you've gotten yourself into that routine as well. [00:46:30] Speaker A: Right? [00:46:30] Speaker B: So that's part of why you do get tired, specifically 01:00 too, right? That's why that makes sense. I've just never been a napper, and I know it's part of my childhood. Growing up, you didn't nap or sleep during the day unless you were sick or if you were my dad, he would come in. My dad always worked from home. He worked from home. He was a farmer during his non busy time of year. He would come in, have lunch, sit down in his recliner, watch some of his shows like gun smoke or whatever, and he would fall asleep for a little bit. It'd be like 30, 45 minutes. That's usually all he'd sleep. And we were not allowed to be in the house, like, during the summer, if dad came in to take a nap or to eat his lunch, we'd eat lunch, or we'd eat lunch before him and we would go back outside. We were not allowed in the house. And if we were in the house, we had to be desperately quiet because he would freak out. So I've never been a person to take naps. [00:47:39] Speaker A: I was never a person to take naps until I started high school, I think. And I said it before, I've never said it on the podcast, but I've definitely said it to you. I think I have narcolepsy. Like, I'm not even fucking kidding you. [00:47:53] Speaker B: How do you even get diagnosed with that? [00:47:56] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know if I can go to the doctor and be like, listen, I am extremely tired all the time. I think I have narcolepsy because narcolepsy isn't just falling asleep just randomly, just like fucking dog ass tired twenty four seven. No matter how much sleep you get, no matter what pills and vitamins and shit you take, your dog ass tired twenty four seven. [00:48:18] Speaker B: And then if you do go and tell them that, they're going to be like, well, it's probably not that, but. [00:48:24] Speaker A: Your hormones are probably, yeah, let's do. [00:48:26] Speaker B: These other 50 tests and make you pay for them and then we'll see, right? Yeah. That's very hard to be diagnosed with. [00:48:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:41] Speaker B: I don't even know how you treat that. [00:48:44] Speaker A: Fuck if I know. You have no fucking idea. But I 1000% believe if it's not that, there is something wrong because I should not be this tired. [00:48:57] Speaker B: Well, there's so many other things. It could be thyroid, hormonal, it could be even just what you eat. It could be something as simple as what you eat. But then again, it could be your thyroids are messed up. [00:49:13] Speaker A: But I still do something even as. [00:49:14] Speaker B: Crazy as a tumor somewhere in your body that's causing the hormone, the hormone to be released. It could be something mild, completely mild, or it could be something completely insane. You never know, right? And they're going to run you, you go to one doctor, they're going to run you through three to five tests and be like, there's nothing wrong with you. You go to another doctor, be like, hey, these are the tests I've had done. They're going to run you through three more tests, three to five more tests, and they'll eventually run out of tests and be like, we have no clue what it is. [00:49:49] Speaker A: That is literally the story of my life. [00:49:51] Speaker B: Exactly. And it's stupid. [00:49:54] Speaker A: The amount of CAT scans, mris, blood test, all kinds of shit that I've had done last year, and they're like, I don't know. [00:50:05] Speaker B: You're fine, you're fine. [00:50:06] Speaker A: No, I'm not fine, though. [00:50:07] Speaker B: You're just a tired person. [00:50:09] Speaker A: You're just so tired. [00:50:11] Speaker B: I am a tired person, but I have always been forced to push through it. So I drink copious amounts of caffeine. [00:50:19] Speaker A: Caffeine doesn't work. That's the issue. [00:50:21] Speaker B: I can drink a pot of coffee and take a nap right after. Yeah, but I've always been forced to not take naps that I push through that, and then I'm like, okay, then after I push through, so I drink the pot of coffee, I push through the little bit of being tired, even exhausted, sitting there or standing there about to fall asleep, and then I'm like, okay, I've got a buzz. I feel like I could jump off the roof. Let's go. And then that lasts for maybe 2 hours, depending on what I'm doing. If I'm sitting at my desk, it'll last for like an hour. But if I'm up doing something, working on something, if I'm at home working on something, it'll last for like, two to 3 hours. And then I'm like, okay, let's get everything ready for a meal or supper or whatever, or whatever we're doing that night. And then after everybody gets done eating, I'm like, I could literally fall asleep standing up right here. And it hits me like a bag of bricks. And I don't know what it is, but it's terrible. [00:51:36] Speaker A: Well, Daniel knows that if I do not get a nap, that 07:00 comes, I'm going to. I can't. I literally can't stay awake. It's not that I don't want to. It's not that I don't want to be awake and do things. I cannot keep my eyes open. [00:51:54] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:51:55] Speaker A: And then he gets frustrated because he's like, well, I want to spend time with you. In the evenings when I'm off work, I was like, and I have a lot of friends that not talk shit but make fun of me because I have to take naps. Steven does for sure. [00:52:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Or anything. [00:52:11] Speaker A: I cannot function without them. I literally cannot live life without one. And not a 30, 45 minutes nap, like a one to two hour nap I have to have. And it's detrimental to the shit that I want to get done, right. Especially now that it's dark at 05:00 if I take a nap from one to three, I just lost 2 hours of daylight that I could have been doing something, right. But if not, then I'm going to bed at seven, I'm losing out time. [00:52:39] Speaker B: Because normally I can sleep with the family. [00:52:42] Speaker A: What's crazy is normally I can go to bed at eleven, wake up at five, and then take my nap on a day that I wake up at ten. If I don't take a nap right, then I'm going to bed at seven, it doesn't fucking matter, right? It doesn't matter the span of time between. [00:52:59] Speaker B: I guess if you changed your schedule around, so if you stayed up until eleven and got up at five, took your nap one to three, you would still have the same amount of working hours. [00:53:15] Speaker A: Right. [00:53:15] Speaker B: The same amount of hours doing stuff that everybody else would, right. So you're only getting 6 hours of sleep at night. [00:53:24] Speaker A: At night, right. [00:53:25] Speaker B: And then 2 hours during the day, that's 8 hours of sleep. [00:53:28] Speaker A: And I'm fully functional doing that. 1000% fully functional. [00:53:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:35] Speaker A: But if I go to sleep at 07:00 and I don't wake up till ten, I still want to fucking take a nap. [00:53:45] Speaker B: Right? But what I'm saying, like, if you kept it where you stay up until. [00:53:49] Speaker A: Eleven and that's what I do normally. [00:53:52] Speaker B: Even if everybody in the house goes to bed at nine, stay up doing stuff, it will be a little harder because you won't be able to vacuum. [00:54:02] Speaker A: Right. That's the type of stuff that I do in the morning. [00:54:05] Speaker B: Exactly. So there will be a few things that you won't be able to do. But besides, vacuuming is the only thing I can think of that is super loud. [00:54:14] Speaker A: Right. [00:54:14] Speaker B: You'll be able to use the washer, the dryer, dishwasher, wash dishes by hand. I don't see anything wrong with it. Because you're still getting the same hours of sleep as everybody else. [00:54:29] Speaker A: Right. [00:54:30] Speaker B: There's nothing really wrong with it. [00:54:34] Speaker A: That's literally my life. That's what I've been doing is going to bed at eleven at the latest. I wake up at six, unless it's the weekend, because 06:00 I've got to get my kids up. We've got to get ready if they're riding the bus at that point. I don't know if we talked about it on here because I can't remember, but I don't think we did. I don't know if I want my kids to ride the bus anymore. [00:54:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:00] Speaker A: The shit that happens on the bus is, and we don't have time to talk about it today because we're going to run out of time. But the things that happen on the bus just don't make me as comfortable as I thought that I would be with my kids riding the bus. It's more of a convenience versus anything else. [00:55:19] Speaker B: A necessity. Yeah, there are some people that it is a necessity. Like they cannot take their kids to school every day and pick them up every day. [00:55:27] Speaker A: And that's where I'm very lucky, is because I can. [00:55:29] Speaker B: Right. But yeah, I see nothing wrong with keeping them off of the bus until they are at least a little older. And can. Yes, Harper can tell you what's going on. [00:55:42] Speaker A: Right. [00:55:43] Speaker B: But she'll be able to understand the, like, is it really tattling or is it something that I should tell mom? [00:55:52] Speaker A: Well, Harper already hates riding the bus. She fucking hates it. Makes her stomach hurt. She does not fucking like riding the bus. She always asks me to take her and pick her up. [00:56:00] Speaker B: You can always have the kids get off at my work and I can bring them as soon as I get off. [00:56:05] Speaker A: Right. [00:56:06] Speaker B: Like they get off the bus at 320 at my work. So they'll be there for an hour. [00:56:11] Speaker A: Right. The only days that it would be an issue is if I had a doctor's appointment or I had to work late for some unfucking known reason. [00:56:23] Speaker B: Right? [00:56:23] Speaker A: I never have to work that late. But if I fucking did. Yeah, that's that. [00:56:31] Speaker B: So we gave everybody homework last week. Are we going to give them something this week, too? [00:56:36] Speaker A: I didn't plan on it, but do you have something in mind? [00:56:40] Speaker B: Well, I thought of something earlier, and it wasn't necessarily homework. It was more of, like, a challenge. But then I kind of forgot about it because we've talked about so many other things. [00:56:50] Speaker A: I don't have anything. So you better think real fast. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Okay. So we talked about everybody being on their phones and technology and how it is affecting people. So I am going to challenge everyone to see how they can limit their children and themselves on technology for the next week. So how can you learn to limit it in a good way? Not cause fights, arguments that kind of. [00:57:28] Speaker A: Not just about snatch it and be like. [00:57:29] Speaker B: Yeah, not just snatch it and be like, you're out of time. Your time. But how can you create a functional way to limit their time and your time on it and use that extra time you are getting from it to benefit your family? [00:57:49] Speaker A: I like that. All right. [00:57:52] Speaker B: That's a good one. Yeah, I thought so. [00:57:54] Speaker A: All right, well, since nobody fucking answered my question on our Facebook group this week, it's a new one, so let us know. [00:58:06] Speaker B: Anyway, see you next week. [00:58:08] Speaker A: Bye. [00:58:09] Speaker B: Later, maybe. [00:58:12] Speaker A: There we go.